So, this is my first blog so, I wanted to make it special. I wanted to possibly make a difference. I know, when you guys start reading this you are going to think I am some crazy girl with big dreams she can't accomplish, well, I am here to prove you wrong.
I am always seeing people around me looking at everything from the wrong perspective, the way I, too, have looked through. From all of the changes and obstacles I have been through, I realized, you have to look at all the possibilities, not just one quick judgement.
My brother had brain cancer, it was hard, not because he got so much attention or because we had to go to his doctor appointments so often, but because I had to watch him suffer. He passed away at age 15, it was the hardest thing ever, but we had to look and see, now he isn't suffering. Throughout the years I had to watch him get bullied because he was smaller than other boys his age, beause he had a hearing aid because the tumor effected his hearing, because he was in a wheelchair because he wasn't strong enough to walk stabily.
Ever since the night he left us, I looked at everything differently. Nothing was really the same. Without him there, I felt, Empty.
I found myself gaining weight after that. I was always being bullied for my looks and things like that but after my perspective changed and I started to understand things I was begining to become more sensitive. Everything people would say would hurt so much. I know I probably set myself up for that but sixth grade came and I broke. I cried once I got home from school. In the mornings I woke with puffy eyes due to crying myself to sleep. At school I was all smiles because I didn't want people to make fun of me even more. One day, my mom came to the school and went to the Vice Principal. She told him I was being bullied, so, they called me up to the office. I had to rat out all of the people that were calling me fat, ugly, useless, and so many more names. I honestly did not want to tell them who because I knew what would come after.
Later that day I was in my 5th period class talking to the teacher while the rest of the students stomped in. One of the kids that I had to rat out walked in and shouted that I told on them and I was such a little baby tattle-tale. I bursted into tears and ran outside.
After my mom talked to the Vice Principal the bullying got even worse. I told my mom it was getting worse because of that, she said I needed to stop being a tattle-tale when she was the one that went to the Vice Principal even though I told her not to. I started trying to hurt myself in class and my whole personality was changing. By the 7th grade I was cutting my wrists and I swallowed pills every morning hoping it would take the pain away. I found myself taking deep breaths when we walked by people smoking, i know, it isn't much, but, it was getting worse. I had my one friend I told everything to though, she talked me out of commiting suicide so many times. Once I got a facebook I saw how much bullying there was. Everywhere there was cyber-bullies talking about how these girls are fat and ugly as shit. That broke my heart. It changed my perspective, so much.
That is what made me realize, I Am Not Alone.
